So today I wanted to share with you a really cool experience. About 2 weeks ago I had the privilege to lead a breakout session for an online conference. The conference had about 1,000 people in attendance and my breakout had 16 people in it. What was my session about, you ask?? “I’m Sold, Let’s Use Social Media to Make Digital Missionaries. What Do I Do Now?” Wow, that’s a mouthful and when I was first approached to lead it, I was blown away that I was being asked to speak.
You see I’ve struggled with confidence or feeling like the low man on the totem pole since I can remember. For example when I was first asked to lead the breakout session. My thoughts were “What? Me? Was there no one else to lead? I don’t have anything of value to say?” But here is the beauty of my marriage. My husband is one of my biggest supporters and has built my confidence more than he will ever know. So when I got that text I told him about it and the first thing out of his mouth was “That’s awesome babe you will do great!” No hesitation in his voice and he didn’t even question if I would say yes or not. That is because he believes in me and sees my full potential. I have a hard time seeing myself the way he does or even the way other people do. I am my worst critic. The best way to describe my feeling is like emotional weight. The same as physical weight, when you lose a bunch of weight it can be hard to get past the “overweight” mindset. When you see yourself in the mirror it’s isn’t the loss of weight you see, it’s the weight you still have to lose. The same goes for when you are buying new clothes, it is really easy to fall back to the old size of clothes. I can relate to this example because I’ve been in the exact same situation. It has taken me a long time to break out of the mindset of being 70lbs heavier than I am right now. I still have to put a lot of effort into that thought process but I feel like I am getting better everyday.
On the flip side, my emotional weight, where my confidence is concerned isn’t to that point yet. There is still a breakthrough that needs to happen although I am happy to say that after the breakout session I felt more confident than I ever had. The exact words I said to my best friend after my session ended was, “I actually felt like I knew what I was talking about and that I commanded the room well.” I never thought that I would utter those words. This was the moment I felt my confidence soar. This day I will remember for the rest of my life because this was the day that I started to break out of my shell of not feeling good enough.
Are you your worst critic? Do you struggle with feeling inferior? I want you to hear me when I tell you, it doesn’t have to be that way forever. Start today, what can you do to break out of your shell? It can be something small or a huge leap of faith but I want you to start! Don’t say “I’ll start on Monday” because that will give you the chance to find excuse after excuse. Now I realize you may be reading this on a Monday. And if this is the case start today, this Monday don’t put it off! Today starts the rest of your life!
I pray that this blog today was an encouragement to you and can help in your daily life. Always know I am available to pray with you or just be someone to talk to when life gets hard. E-mail me at megan@churchanywhere.us if you need prayer!
Talk to you next Monday!