Hi, my name is Megan and I am an extroverted introvert. Oxymoron right? Let’s dig deeper and maybe you are the same way.
My whole life I would have said I’m an introvert no doubt about it. I’m super quiet and never really talked a lot. I also need time to be by myself away from everyone to recharge. Some people after they would get to know me have said they thought I was stuck up. Which they find out is the last thing I am. I just feel awkward in group settings so I would cling to the person I know most and not talk a lot. Definitely not stuck up just quiet and awkward.
This past year I have grown tremendously and realized a lot about myself. One of those things is that I do actually crave relationships with others more than I ever thought. The pandemic really brought that to light. I have also found out that I can turn on and off the extroverted side of me. For example, being a pastor at a church I have to flip the switch on Sundays where I would normally have secluded myself because I feel awkward in normal conversations at times. But I realize I need to flip the switch because I don’t want to give off the impression as I have for a majority of my life that I am stuck up, I want to show who I really am and be welcoming and inviting with a splash of awkwardness because it can’t really be hidden and I’m finally ok with that. I want everyone to see the real me and because in the past it has taken so long for me to open up to someone, on days and events like Sundays I have to speed up the process. So it’s still the real me I’m just opening up to be vulnerable a lot quicker. But on Sunday afternoons I usually crash.
Let me be clear when I flip the switch to be extroverted it honestly comes out naturally it is just not my go-to. It is a conscious choice but it is also not a fake version of myself either. That’s why it might sound like an oxymoron, but if you are anything like me, you understand what I mean. You might like to sit back and not make decisions when you are in a group, but if you are in a group filled with other introverts you will adapt and take charge to make those same decisions that you would have taken a backseat to in the opposite group.
Realizing this about myself was a game changer and has also allowed me to open myself up to new relationships that I would have never had if I had kept thinking I was just extroverted. Sometimes we can get trapped by how we perceive ourselves. I would encourage you to evaluate yourself. Are you extroverted or introverted or maybe you are like me and a mixture of the two. A great place to start is ask the people around you how they perceive you. Also don’t forget to factor in how you become recharged. You would be surprised that more people that you think are a mixture of the two.
I pray that this blog today was an encouragement to you and can help in your daily life. Always know I am available to pray with you or just be someone to talk to when life gets hard. E-mail me at megan@churchanywhere.us if you need prayer!
Talk to you next Monday!